Paging Junior Seau

Never trust an athlete when they say they are retiring. Never blame a retired athlete if he returns. I can tell you from personal experience that the end of an athletic career, however modest, is usually one of the hardest things that a guy who achieves athletic success has to experience. Most of us would give it one last shot in a heartbeat if the body had not long betrayed us.

The latest athlete to undergo this change of heart is future Hall of Fame linebacker Junior Seau, who, just days after celebrating his retirement back in San Diego (which, Ron Burgundy reminds us, means "a whale's vagina"), where he played the bulk of his career and saw almost all of his most notable successes, is now rumored to be looking into giving it another go. And where might he land? Well, according to ESPN.com, he has spoken with New England and might end up in Foxborough soon.

I am of a mixed mindset over this possibility. Sure, the idea of Junior Seau wearing red, white, and blue strikes a visceral chord with me. After all, for a decade-and-a-half, Seau was a fixture on my television screen during the season, sacking quarterbacks, stuffing runners, sniffing out play-action passes, and pumping his fist after every successful play. But that Junior doesn't live here anymore.

After three relatively marginal seasons as a Dolphin, Nick Saban gave Seau his release and no one seemed to be pounding down the linebacker's door to sign him. So is this an act of desperation or inspiration on the part of Belichick and the Patriots? First of all, let's be clear -- if Belichick signed George H. W. Bush to be our strong safety tomorrow, he would have my trust. He has earned that and more in the last half decade. Our linebackers are depleted and on more than one occasion the Pats have worked their alchemy and spun gold because of their oft-imitated system. There is no reason to think that it cannot happen again. That said, I will guess that Seau's time with the Patriots, however long it lasts, will be little more than a footnote in his distinguished career. He may well help the Pats to a fourth Super Bowl title in six years, but I know I will continue to sacrifice sea monkeys and burn incense nightly in hopes of restoring Tedy Bruscho to full health. I trust Belichick. I just trust him more if his master plan has Seau playing a specified, and perhaps limited, role.