Friday, February 17, 2006

A Moral Conundrum

Does anyone else feel just a little dirty about the inclusion of all of the hippie sports in the winter Olympics? On the one hand, these fake sports exist solely to help us to pad our medal total. On the other hand, you've got to be kidding me.


Tom said...

Totally. We need less judged winter activities, not more. Just race the frickin' snowboard down the mountain and see how fast you can ski through the moguls. It is ridiculous to judge people jumping and flipping on skis or snowboards.

I do like the gold medals, though.

greg said...

The judged snowboarding events are a total joke. Most self-respecting American snowboarders will not even participate in such events. Shaun White is not the best snowboarder in the world, no matter what Bob Costas says.

Thunderstick said...

I'm not watching the Olympics until it includes competitive eating. No judging there--just a whole lot of hot dogs!!

Rich said...

Erroneous!!! Erroneous!!!

Bill O'Reilly is going to be featuring you America-hating, book-burning, blasphemy-spewing professors of higher education on his show one of these nights. Vermont has two things going for it: maple syrup and Burton Snowboards and the talented kids we produce who are bringing home the medals.

I mean, we're a country at war here. You speak out against the snowboarding events at these winter olympics and you pretty much stand with Al Queda. Or Sean Hannity tells me.

Un-American hedonists. The lot of yous.

dcat said...

Ahhh, yes, once again here at dcat it's the sports that gets the conversaton going. Oh well. It's who we are. No sense hiding it.

As for your insightful and intelligent points, one by one:

TOM: I agree wholly. I do not oppose the idea of the snowboard in principal. What I oppose is a bunch of people who have an obvious competitive option -- racin' dammit! -- who instead choose to do the whole judged sport aspect. If it's on skis, snowboards, or frozen corpses, I don't care. Race. Compete. Fight. I don't care. I just want a winner, a loser, and a tangible result.

GREG: Don't come to dcat and start talking about what goes on in your communes. I don't want to hear any "most self-respecting American snowboarders" talk around here. You know far too much about this. We like our insular ignorance. Go back to Russia.

RICH: All of those resources going to Vermont kids for their fringe sports could be better used to produce skiiers and ski jumpers and hockey players. Burton snowboards are undermining us from within like a bong-water stained terrorist cell. And you are part of a conspiracy so immense, you don't even realize it. So you and Greg can take your commie-dupe mindsets over to hippieland as far as I am concerned.

THUNDERSTICK: I would propose snow-cone eating contests during the winter Olympics and then foodstuffs tied to the host country for the Olympics. Thus in our global village we could have American Olympics host hot dog eating contests, Italians would host a spicy a meataballa eating contests, the Chinese could do eggrolls. The dilemma wil be what the brits do. Is it really possible to have a "drab" eating contest? I suppose kebabs. Or fish & chips.

greg said...

DCAT- To make my point clear: I don't approve of judged sporting events. Like you say, I want a clear-cut winner. Half-pipe riding does not produce that. Boarder cross does. That I can live with.

Thunderstick said...

"Vermont has two things going for it: maple syrup and Burton Snowboards and the talented kids we produce who are bringing home the medals."

Uhhh..that's three things. You history types really do need the insights of a scientist on this blog. Ziiiiiinnnnnngggggg.....

Tom said...

Hey, Rich is not a history type. He's a lawyer type, and the VP has taught us what to do with them. Booyah.

Can we switch the winter Olympics consumption game from snow cones to giant slushies? The brain freezes would be excellent to watch.

Greg is a dirty hippie.

Zibwmf. That's my random word verification for this comment. Think about that.

dcat said...

Greg --
You are still a filthy hippie. Boarder cross? That's just an excuse to make something valid -- a race -- all "far out" and "groovy." Go, Shaggy, and take Scooby with you.
Thunderstick --
What Tom said. Rich is a lawyer. And a damned guvmint one at that (well, vermont's guvmint is itself practically a festering hippie colony, but no matter).

Zibwmpf indeed. And a ghmyg back at ya.


Thunderstick said...

Vermont has a state government? I've driven through Vermont on the way to Canada and there's one exit for Montpieler and there is nothing off of it. I had driven through miles of nothing Vermont and just wanted a Big Mac and figured that there must be a McD's in the state capital, but I got off the exit and nothing. I just figured everyone governed themselves up there, like in Mad Max, only a lot less cool weapons and cars (although probably about the same number of showers).

dcat said...

It's more like Mad Max meets Fargo meets Children of the Corn meets Slacker meets Cheech and Chong meets Hot Dog: the Movie.

You know -- that old situation.

greg said...

I love you guys. Peace. Oh and epwso, too.

Rich said...

Vermont hygiene jokes, how original.

wevuh on.

dcat said...

Hey, if the water's good, there is no sense not going to the well.

aityk you.