Friday, January 31, 2014

Facebook Spammer: I Curse You

Ok, so I am the worlds worst Facebook friend. I almost never check my Facebook page, to the point where it always takes me a while to navigate the interface, especially since it is different between my laptop, iPad, and android phone. (Yeah, I have a Mac laptop, my campus office computer is a Mac desktop, I have an iPad, and my phone is an android -- what of it?) I take forever to respond to friend requests and messages. When I do check in, it's usually to announbce that I'm travelling someplace or to announce some accomplishment, and so basically my timeline is that of a narcissist. (On Facebook? The audacity!) Basically, I may as well not have a Facebook account.

So today I go in the respond to some friend requests. And I decide to keep scrolling down to send a few requests of my own, something I just about never do (again, that narcissism -- I don't request friends, I wait to be requested). And so I find folks from high school I'm still not Facebook friends with, and then start finding professional colleagues, college and grad school friends, that guy I met through that other guy who I know through that dude I met at a scholarly seminar.

And because people tend to keep Facebook open on a tab on their computer, some folks started responding right away, including one guy I sort of knew who was a year or two behind me in high school.

Minutes later, I get a message from him. "Hi." Then a vague inquiry about how I'm doing, to which I gave a nine word biography. Then the next post arrives: "I've been trying to reach you lately cause i have a great news to share with you." (Just assume "sic" from here on out.)

Um, ok, I have not seen you in 25 years and had not thought of you until I saw your name here today and sent the friend request, but ok.

Next message: "Did you hear the NEW YEAR good news about facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg?"

Um, nope.

"The New Month Promotion, it was made to some facebook user in other to benefit from them at large $150,00.00 did you get yours from them?" (Again, all "sic" up in here.)

Yeah, dude, not interested.

"oh really"

"when the UPS Company delivered the money to my door step. I saw your name on the list with the shipping company agent, so I thought I would see if you have gotten it."

And . . . Unfriended (something I have never done before, by the way, as since I don't go on regularly I can avoid most of the dumb stuff that many of the people with whom I went to high school -- and the crazy always comes from high school connections. Always -- tend to spew out.)

I am assuming that C*** B******* has simply had his Facebook page hacked or usurped. But whatever it is, screw you, "C*** B*******."

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