School is Cool!

It's the first day of school out here at UTPB, and as usually happens when things kick off, I am excited for the new year. My classes are great -- I am teaching an upper division course, "US History Since 1945" and, because of a scheduling quirk, two graduate courses, "The Historian's Craft," which is the foundational class for all of our MA students, and "Modern Africa," -- and I am excited about the books I am using, especially in Modern Africa and the US Since 1945. Normally we teach on a M-W-F or T-Th schedule, but because of a host of circumstances, I am on a M-T-W-F schedule, with the grad seminars on T-W and the undergraduate class meeting M-W-F. I hate teaching on Fridays because of conferences, but my schedule will allow me to get a lot of writing done this term, and that's always welcome.

The cynical question when my enthusiasm is at its peak is: "How long will this last before it is crushed out of me?" And about half of the answer to that question is dependent on my students (the other half is dependent upon administration, but that is a post for another time). A good, enthusiastic group can make the coming four months a pleasure. But all it takes is a few students, the ones always looking for the easiest path, the ones who come up with excuses easier than changes of clothes, the ones who smirk their way through a semester full of material they do not understand, to suck the energy from a professor. I am not teaching the survey this semester, which will help. It seems that the students absolutely least equipped to have any clue about what university life is all about have the most obnoxious criticisms. "There is too much reading! He grades too hard!" Not to put too fine a point on it, but how the fuck would you know what college-level reading and expectations are?

In any case, in an effort to nip some of the student excuses in the bud, I present to you the "Top Ten No Sympathy Lines (Plus a Few Extra)" that students try to pawn off on faculty and the responses from one professor at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. (Hat tip to Texas in Africa.)

Let the games begin!!!

Feeling Old

Every year Beloit College sends out the "mindset list" which is, essentially, geared to make faculty members feel old. Here is this year's list (take your antidepressants now) of what this year's typical college freshman knows of the world:

1. Dan Rostenkowski, Jack Kevorkian, and Mike Tyson have always been felons.

2. The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables.

3. They have never used a card catalog to find a book.

4. Margaret Thatcher has always been a former prime minister.

5. Salsa has always outsold ketchup.

6. Earvin "Magic" Johnson has always been HIV-positive.

7. Tattoos have always been very chic and highly visible.

8. They have been preparing for the arrival of HDTV all their lives.

9. Rap music has always been mainstream.

10. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream has always been a flavor choice.

11. Someone has always been building something taller than the Willis (née Sears) Tower in Chicago.

12. The KGB has never officially existed.

13. Text has always been hyper.

14. They never saw the “Scud Stud” (but there have always been electromagnetic stud finders.)

15. Babies have always had a Social Security Number.

16. They have never had to “shake down” an oral thermometer.

17. Bungee jumping has always been socially acceptable.

18. They have never understood the meaning of R.S.V.P.

19. American students have always lived anxiously with high-stakes educational testing.

20. Except for the present incumbent, the President has never inhaled.

21. State abbreviations in addresses have never had periods.

22. The European Union has always existed.

23. McDonald's has always been serving Happy Meals in China.

24. Condoms have always been advertised on television.

25. Cable television systems have always offered telephone service and vice versa.

26. Christopher Columbus has always been getting a bad rap.

27. The American health care system has always been in critical condition.

28. Bobby Cox has always managed the Atlanta Braves.

29. Desperate smokers have always been able to turn to Nicoderm skin patches.

30. There has always been a Cartoon Network.

31. The nation’s key economic indicator has always been the Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

32. Their folks could always reach for a Zoloft.

33. They have always been able to read books on an electronic screen.

34. Women have always outnumbered men in college.

35. We have always watched wars, coups, and police arrests unfold on television in real time.

36. Brits have always owned The New York Daily News.

37. Amateur radio operators have never needed to know Morse code.

38. Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania, and Estonia have always been independent nations.

39. It's always been official: President Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning.

40. Madonna’s perspective on Sex has always been well documented.

41. Phil Jackson has always been coaching championship basketball.

42. Ozzy Osbourne has always been coming back.

43. Kevin Costner has always been Dancing with Wolves, especially on cable.

44. There have always been flat screen televisions.

45. They have always eaten Berry Berry Kix.

46. Disney’s Fantasia has always been available on video, and It’s a Wonderful Life has always been on Moscow television.

47. Smokers have never been promoted as an economic force that deserves respect.

48. Elite American colleges have never been able to fix the price of tuition.

49. Nobody has been able to make a deposit in the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI).

50. Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on.

51. Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.

52. They have never been Saved by the Bell.

53. Someone has always been asking: “Was Iraq worth a war?”

54. Most communities have always had a mega-church.

55. Natalie Cole has always been singing with her father.

56. The status of gays in the military has always been a topic of political debate.

57. Elizabeth Taylor has always reeked of White Diamonds.

58. There has always been a Planet Hollywood.

59. For one reason or another, California’s future has always been in doubt.

60. Agent Starling has always feared the Silence of the Lambs.

61. “Womyn” and “waitperson” have always been in the dictionary.

62. Members of Congress have always had to keep their checkbooks balanced since the closing of the House Bank.

63. There has always been a computer in the Oval Office.

64. CDs have never been sold in cardboard packaging.

65. Avon has always been “calling” in a catalog.

66. NATO has always been looking for a role.

67. Two Koreas have always been members of the UN.

68. Official racial classifications in South Africa have always been outlawed.

69. The NBC Today Show has always been seen on weekends.

70. Vice presidents of the United States have always had real power.

71. Conflict in Northern Ireland has always been slowly winding down.

72. Migration of once independent media like radio, TV, videos and compact discs to the computer has never amazed them.

73. Nobody has ever responded to “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

74. Congress could never give itself a mid-term raise.

75. There has always been blue Jell-O.

I feel ancient, and to the incoming freshman, I probably am.

On Student Entitlement

As I prepare to grade a batch of exams that I just received, and a pile of papers that I should have finished more than a week ago, I cannot stop thinking about this Michelle Cottle post at The Plank , which she develops from this New York Times article, both of which take on the entitlement that many college students feel when it comes to grades. Their attitude can be summed up thusly: "I come to class and do all the work, I deserve an A." Which is to say that they believe that simply fulfilling the basic expectations of the class warrants an A. Read both pieces, and shake your head in a combination of disbelief and exasperation at both the sense of entitlement and the absence of the idea of quality in the minds of too many of these students, who have grown up in the academic equivalent of Lake Woebegone and who, upon coming to college, are stunned, but more to the point, outraged, that they are not all above average.

Matty's Rant-n-Rave

dcat would like to welcome Matty's Rant-n-Rave to the blogosphere. He's dropped to earth as fruit from my blogging tree. Make him feel welcome as he learns the ropes. Matt -- you are officially blogrolled.